Immediately after my “temporary death experience” (September 2018), the angels told me that I wouldn’t return to heaven for 20 years. That was more than two years ago. Now we’re at 17 years and change.

It’s time for me to make some big decisions, and I’d be grateful for your input.

For the last two years, I have labored indefatigably to finish the manuscript that tells the story of my return from heaven. After writing the first draft, I tossed it aside as an unworthy effort. The same thing happened with the second draft. The third draft has been through many iterations and revisions but is now complete. It has been shared with several friends and their response has been overwhelmingly positive.

So what now? Do I self publish it, and get it out into the world? Or put forth more effort in finding a literary agent, in the hopes that he/she can find a publisher? Of the nine books I have written, only two were published by traditional publishers. Royalties on those books barely covered my out-of-pocket costs, and the publisher did little to promote the books. In less than three years, they were out of print. My first self-published book – The Houses That Sears Built – provided me with income for 17 years.

For a time after my husband’s death, I traveled around and visited friends and saw new sights. If one is to be truthful, I’m not sure if I was “seeing new sights” or just on the run. Either way, I loved traveling. Because of Covid, those days are over – for now.

Conversely, there’s a little hardware store in Jersey County (not far from my home) that is very appealing. I’ve often thought that I’d be well-suited to work part-time in such a place – if they’d have me.

And therein lies the rub: I can’t do it all. I can either promote this book or take a part-time job, but I don’t have the time or energy to do both. If my book was to become successful, I wouldn’t have time for any other commercial endeavors.

Perhaps I should just wait for the Spirit of God to “move upon the waters” and guide me. Or perhaps I should be out there promoting the “good news” of what I experienced in heaven.  Or perhaps, I need to forget about heaven for now, and focus more on the world (and its many noisy demands) and find a job that suits me.

If you have insights, please share them with me. You can reach me at magnolia2047@gmail.com.

It’d be so lovely if I could get a glimpse of “the big picture.”