Thank You For Your Prayers…

Four years ago (today), was my husband’s 63rd birthday. I remember that day all too well. Wayne had always been “eccentric” and he had plenty of odd and unusual behaviors, but I assumed that this was part and parcel of his brilliant mind. He had an IQ well north of 180. With few exceptions, true geniuses are truly odd. I accepted his eccentricities as part of the package deal.

But that day he was more foul-tempered than usual, and he said very ugly things about the expensive birthday present I’d given him, and then he lobbed a few vicious words at a neighbor. Ten days later, he would be dead – by his own hand.

My friends who are also “suicide widows” understand about “anniversaries” all too well, but many others don’t: Wayne’s birth day and death day are both hard days, and I look forward to the time when I don’t feel sad on those two days.

So for now, I ask for your prayers and your love and your support.

In the meantime, here are some pretty pictures from my travels in early March.

Early March, I traveled to Charleston, SC to visit my friend, James. I miss flying (and flitting) around the country.


One of the things that James and I found was this Sears “Elsmore” in Conway, South Carolina. It’s a real beauty and perfect in every way.


Here’s the Elsmore, as seen in the 1919 catalog.





    I found your blog looking for a key.

    I noticed your entry giving thanks for prayers and I read it.

    So here I am offering a virtual hug of sorts with silent understanding. Though I am not a suicide widow, my mother was.

    My dad committed suicide when I, the youngest of six kids, turned 19. I think he waited for that.

    My heart goes out to you and I hear your words. Especially about the anniversary days.

    It’s hard. It always will be.
    Know that you are loved †

    I was looking for a source to find a colonnade desk key. My son bought a house that may or may not be a Craftsman, but it has a locked desk in one of the colonnades. We’ve been trying to figure out how to open it without damaging anything.
    Any suggestions?

    and take care.

  2. Susan

    Prayers of strength on this day and the one coming.

    Remember with joy the vision you were given and find strength in that memory.

    We are all happy to see how far you have come.

    Huddle with that beautiful furry lady, she understands and loves you.

  3. Lori Jackson Black

    Please know that I am sending a ton of love and prayer to you.

    I think of you often, especially your NDE.

    I have a friend on life support with Covid-19 and she was not expected to make it (but is doing much better).

    I found a lot of comfort in knowing that there was a much better place for her in death than here is life.

    I really don’t know how to put it into words for you to understand the calmness and knowing that I feel towards death now.

    It’s this life that is hard. I just know that you sharing your experiences in both the bad thing and your NDE have helped me a lot in my life and I am most appreciative. Love to you and Teddy.

  4. Gemma

    While made in the image of the One True Living God, Wayne still had free will, and it sounds as if he used it to the fullest extent. I can’t say of the law, because it wasn’t.

    And yet, Divine Mercy was there to shield him from judgement. The Divine Mercy chaplet is highly suggested — recommended by Our Lord HImself — for suicides.

    The Divine Mercy novena began on Good Friday, and runs until Divine Mercy Sunday.

    We should all remember the suicides in our lives, along with other things that can’t seem to get resolved.

    Either we will be given the grace to be resigned, or something will bust loose and get moving.

    Additionally, in the Message of Merciful Love for Little Souls, the visionary was concerned about a suicide.

    Our Lord told her, “My Mercy is greater than man’s folly.”

    Perhaps that’s why He said when walking His earth that those we don’t expect to be in Heaven will be there, while those we expect, won’t.

    Be assured of my prayers, dear Rosie. I know how it is about both birthdays and death-days.

  5. Phil

    Peace be with you, Rose. I can’t possibly imagine.

    Your willingness to keep living your own life and sharing your life with others is a blessing. Thank you.

    (BTW, I found your website while looking for Sears kit homes in Durham NC. I’m glad I read more of your site than the great page that I found. You are a treasure.)

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