Prayers For a Quick Turning…

To start, a quote from O. S. Guinness:


The story of Christian reformation, revival, and renaissance underscores that the darkest hour is often just before the dawn, so we should always be people of hope and prayer, not gloom and defeatism. God the Holy Spirit can turn the situation around in five minutes.


As I sneak up on the two-year anniversary of my husband’s suicide, I seem to be struggling to survive. I am in great need of a “five minute” turn.

There are days that I think that I’m going to be okay, and other days when my sufferings are great.

In the last two years, everything has changed. The first six months after his death, I was in shock, and stumbled around – from pillar to post – trying to find a moment or two of solace. The second six monts, I was still in shock but (thanks to friends), found a rental home.

Last October, I purchased a small brick ranch in Suffolk, Virginia. Last month, I purchased a new car to replace my aging Camry. In the last few weeks, I’ve started looking through all those boxes that were hastily packed two years ago, only to find that I gave away or discarded about 50% of my earthly possessions.

My memory has returned, but most of those memories of life with him are upsetting, unnerving or devastating. There are no good memories left. They’re all tainted.

If you’re reading this, I would be grateful for your prayers for guidance and wisdom and health and wholeness.

In short, a turning of this situation.

Thank you.




  1. Sabina Pade

    In life the guy conned you. Don’t be his accomplice in conning you from the grave. You’re giving Satan far too much satisfaction.

  2. Gemma

    You’ve got INFJ listed as your Myers-Briggs? That’s mine, too.

    Come, O Holy Ghost/renew the hearts of your faithful/and enkindle in them the fire of your divine love!

  3. Jenny

    I pray that you find peace and happiness.

    May you be surrounded by light and love and your life turn to a future filled with joy. There are good memories yet to be made.

  4. Jeremy A. Ingle

    Hello Rosemary. I am doing some work researching for an historical coloring book project involving the Hard Homestead (museum) in Oklahoma City.

    You can find photos of the place easily online. It has been said – probably just by repeated legend – that the main 2-story Harn House is a Sears house.

    Due to the year it was built (around Oklahoma’s 1907 statehood), I am not convinced that it is… though possibly a mail-order house from another maker.

    Would you be so kind as to give it a glance using the many online photos available and see if you can place it?

    I have seen your page here previously, but had not known of the passing of Wayne before. I will certainly pray for you and your continued healing, and being that I follow traditional Catholic teaching, I will pray for Wayne’s soul as well.

  5. Laura

    I’m so sorry you are going through such pain. I just prayed for you.

    He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless. -Isaiah 40:29

    PS: Joyce Meyer is a great source of messages in building strength. Her book Battlefield of the Mind REALLY helped me overcome depression, worry, and anger.

  6. Gemma

    Here is the link for the Harn Homestead in OKC. Looks very interesting, but I don’t think the house is a Sears house.

    Unless, of course, “Sears” is being used like “Coke” here in the South: “Would you like a coke?” “Yes.” “What kind?” ” A Sprite.”

    I also seem to recall my dad saying with somewhat sentimental eyes that ownership of a Sears house was a status symbol when he was growing up.

    He was born in 1915. Mom was born in 1920, and she used to draw furniture in the floorplans of the catalogs.

  7. Justin Paris

    My prayers are with you, as well.

  8. Cindy

    Prayers for you.

    I love your writing and your subject. Keep it please. I’m hoping it can offer you distraction.

  9. Jan

    My heartfelt prayers and wishes for you to find peace and healing in light of all you have been through in the last 2 years.

    Don’t ever doubt yourself, you are a survivor, and in your darkest times, please remember this: I admire your strength as I have followed your journey through this blog and have at times shook my head in astonishment as you lay out your life in brutal honesty for all of us to read.

    I have shed many a tear and I feel your pain through your words just as real as if you were sitting across from me.

    Spring is a time for blooming and growth and I will pray that you find your way through this current darkness and continue your healing journey.

  10. Rachel J Shoemaker

    @Jeremy A. Ingle
    The Harn home was a pattern home possibly seen in the trade journal National Builder. Trade journals were magazines with a bunch of ads, mostly, and a few articles on home building construction, and they often featured home designs and advertisements to purchase blueprints.

    Fred T Hodgson, an architect, was the editor and published several carpentry help books.

    This pattern home could have been the pullout feature from a National Builder and was design 39 aka the Egan. These patterns, or blueprint sets, included the blueprints for the house and a materials list, specifications. Many pattern homes are mistaken as kit homes. Especially in Oklahoma.

    I think because they are catalog homes, sort of, sometimes ordered from a catalog or book or magazine, they get lumped in to the kit homes category in time and the family stories get twisted over the years. And the next thing you know grandpa Joe’s house was a Sears house delivered by the train. (Remember everything was delivered by train in 1904 😉 )

    I tried to explain this to someone at Harn and they took offense to it. But, National Builder was never connected to Sears or purchased by Sears, or whatever their claim was.

    They told me that they had the blueprints and the blueprint said National Builder on them. There’s the answer, National Builder. I looked in my Hodgson books and found it.

    You can see the catalog image here on flickr.

  11. Linda Ramsey


    I have been thinking about you a lot lately, then I noticed that you have deactivated your personal Facebook page. I hope and pray that you are doing well.

    Please do not allow the upcoming anniversary of The Bad Thing take away all you have accomplished in the last two years.

    Please know that others care and are thinking of you.

    And that you are stronger than you know.

  12. Sears Homes

    Thanks, Linda.

    I am so overwhelmed, and struggling to keep facing the days. Your lovely comment brought a smile to my face. I am gladdened to know that someone is thinking of me.

  13. Rita Wilson

    There is never a need to ask for our prayers.

    Just know that those who care about you have not and never will stop praying for mental, physical and spiritual health.

    I also pray for the day that you take back your life from the cold dead fingers of your selfish husband who tainted not only your memories but your feelings of self-worth and self-respect.

    They were not his to take, dear Rose.

    Take them back and by living a productive and full life let him know that you are the master of your life and your fate. Our prayers go with you.

  14. Haakon G

    Nearly 5 years ago, i started my previous job. I was a rookie and inexperienced. It got frustrating at times. Alienating. Though stuck at work, I wanted to escape. One sticky summer day, I found this website. The history, the joy and fascination, the love of good crafted homes you convey really made an impression. It became my daily pick up-routine. Better than coffee and jokes between colleagues.

    Your site, telling stories of so many people wanting to build and create something of their own, reminded me to be grateful and humble. Because one day, I’d be able to build my own little castle. It was, in a way, my reason to come to work every morning.

    Yours is the only blog I follow.

    It’s been over two years since I relied on your writing to help me through the work day. I moved closer to family and my life changed for the better. I also got a new job.

    I decided to visit today on a whim. “It’s been so long,” I thought, I hoped you were still active, sharing all your work. And you were! This made me so excited, and a little nostalgic.

    I started a few posts back and quickly realized you had been widowed since I last read about your house searching adventures.

    This saddened me. But it was this post, and the posted linked to up top, that made my heart skip a beat.

    I hope you never give up to bitterness but see how you’re players in an ugly, brutal tragedy. From one stranger to another, in me you have someone who feels with you and sends you good energy.

    I pray your work and family will bring you peace and catharsis will come.

    On a side note, the Johnny Cash song is a cover by Nine Inch Nails.

  15. Sandy E

    Dear Rose, I enjoy reading about your travels—finding and identifying homes. It is a worthwhile use of your precious time, as it gives you joy, and gives so many a valuable resource as we try to sift through the pile of (sometimes not helpul 😉 sites on the internet. Yours is a beacon of light.

    I was sorry to read of your husband’s rough passing from this, sometimes difficult life, and the scars it has left on your own life. Please know that it is possible to move past the grief and pain of that time and return to a better, happier place. Time does heal all wounds.

    I believe that the way a person passes from this world is not a sin (as some would have us believe), but rather a set of circumstances that came together to form an outcome.

    We live in a random, sometimes wonderful, sometimes horrific, universe. My prayer is that you will see the joy in life today. —SE

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